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the cycle of abuse

Excuses
For the abuser, excuses are a way of explaining away the problem or trying to justify their behavior. For a victim, excuses are used to defend and/or hide the abusive behavior.

Honeymooning
The honeymoon phase typically begins after an abusive event or string of excuses. It lures victims into a place of tolerance for the abuser's behavior or convinces them to stay.

Incident
Whether the abuse is verbal, emotional, and/or physical - it's important to remember that the victim cannot prevent the abusive behavior.
ABUSE IS ALL ABOUT CONTROL

Reconciling
After the abuse, X acts in ways they know the victim is seeking. The abuser becomes the partner the victim once fell in love with - believing the violence will never happen again.

Routines
Routine enables the abuser's power and control over the victim, meanwhile the victim uses routine to feel safe. The abusive behavior becomes easier to identify to the victim, thus convincing themselves to stay. The repetition and awareness of the cycle produces a 'safe place' for the victim.

Tension
During this phase, the victim tries all means necessary to stay I the "good graces" of X - top-toeing around and keeping them happy as much as possible.
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